Where I've been...

For those that don't know (and in case you're wondering about my absence), I have made the switch to Wordpress. So yes, that's where I've been for the past six months. If you want my new blog address, please leave me a comment with your email address so I can send it to you. I have personal reasons for not wanting to post it here publicly.

A little on trust and worry

Yesterday was fiscal month end at my company. Usually I look forward to this because I get to run a bunch of reports on the 26th of every month to show our sales and profit and how our product sales are, etc. I like it because it gives me a break from my everyday work with the sales reps and their pricing requests, but I also enjoy making Excel tables and spreadsheets. Ok, so I might be a slight bit of a nerd :). Today however, I am dreading running the reports…because I know most everything will be in red (meaning negative numbers). This last month was the worst month our company has ever had. This also means that if things don't improve, there will be more layoffs. So…I'll just have to wait and see and pray that the Lord sustains my job. And if He doesn't, that's ok too because it's part of His plan. I wanted to be prepared for that, so I've already figured out what I would make on unemployment (60% of my current pay) and revised our budget to account for that. And you know what? We'll be ok. As long as Corey keeps his job at least until I could find another one that pays as much or more, we'll be just fine (hopefully he doesn't lose his job at all though). Things will be tight for sure, but I know we'll manage. I'm half-way expecting to be laid off just because I don't want it to come as a total shock if I am, but I haven't been warned or told that there's a possibility. My boss is very honest and up-front about these things. She's told me that they've had to talk about cutting hours, but have decided against it for the time being. That would be ok too. That would be better than losing my job completely. So I'll just wait and see what the Lord does. We are in His hands, and there is no better place for us to be.

What a comforting thought that is – we are in His hands. You know that song you sang as a kid in Sunday School? He's got the whole world in His hands, He's got the whole world in His hands, He's got the whole world in His hands…etc. Isn't it so great to know that? Despite this economy and the corruption of our nation along with the rest of the world, we are ALL in His hands. I just picture our small little planet resting in the palms of our Savior as He observes and watches us. It just brings about such a feeling of peace. It says in Matthew 6: 25-34 Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. And again the Lord says in Philippians 4: 6-7 (one of my favorite verses) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Wow.

What a sweet reminder. I would say that this year has been my biggest year of learning not to worry or be anxious. I have always been a worrier. My mom has always been a worrier (although she has much improved in the last 18 months or so). I must get it from her (love you, Mom!). But this past year, if I continued to worry the way I used to, I would be a complete wreck/nut case right now. From planning a wedding, to finding a place to live (boy was that crazy!) to the economy and jobs and looking for a house…there are just far too many things for me to worry about or handle on my own. I am slowly learning to just shrug my shoulders, lift my eyes and look to Jesus for the answers and the plan. I can sit here all day worrying about whether or not I'll still have my job in 3 months. I could crunch numbers all day long. I could search Craig's List and Monster for hours. But what good would any of that do me? First of all, it would all be futile because I haven't even lost my job yet (and maybe I won't at all!). But secondly, what more can I really do? Nothing. Worrying and being anxious will give me nothing but a headache. Like Jesus says in Matthew – "and which of you by being anxious can add a single hours to his span of life?" I know I can't! So today I sit here and say: I have no idea as to what the future holds. I don't know if I'll keep my job, find a house, and have my husband be unemployed. But I do know this – God knows. God has a plan, and His plans are to give me peace and hope, not destruction and evil. His plans are not to make me miserable, but rather to rely fully on Him for all things. And as long as I do that, He will provide. He will put a roof over my head (even if it's not the way I want or how I expected it), He will provide food to eat (even if it's beans and rice every day!) and He will provide clothes to wear (even if they're from Goodwill or hand-me-downs). Because I have my hope in Him, I'm going to be ok. That's all that matters.

Bored out of my mind...

Work is extremely slow today. Not to mention the fact that my boss isn’t here, so it seems REALLY slow. Nobody to talk to. Only an hour and a half left, which is great because I’m going crazy! I’m ready to be home with my hubby. The house hunt has come to a temporary halt. There just isn’t really anything in our price range that we’re interested in right now. At least nothing in our ideal location. There’s plenty in our price range if we wanted to live out toward Graham and the Lipolma Firs area, but nothing downtown or just up the hill from the valley. Everything we were interested in has sold before we could get an offer in. So we are back to square one. Just waiting for some more to come on the market. A lot of people put their house on the market in the spring, and tomorrow is the official start to spring, so we’ll see what it brings for us. Sometimes I wish we were rich so we could buy whatever we wanted. But I know there’s a reason I’m not rich. I’d put too much value on material possessions. God knows that. I know that. I have thought about buying a lottery ticket lately though just to do it…more because I wish we could just buy a nice house and pay cash and then I could quit my job and stay home! Haha. Yes, I know. I’ll just keep on dreaming.

Everyone always tells me I am trying to grow up too fast. I’m 21, married, working full-time, looking to buy a house, and wanting to start a family in the next couple years. Ok, so I’m young. And doing a lot more “grown up” things than most other 21-year-olds, but you know what? This is my dream. I always wanted to marry young. We really want a house because we want something to call ours, but more than that, it just seems so silly to pay so much money to rent when we could get a HOUSE…something we’re actually investing in and get something out of…for only $100-$150 more per month. It’s just such a waste to throw all your money away on rent if you can afford a house. I know that for some people, renting is the way to go. And for those people, more power to you. But I need my own space. A place where I can paint the walls and change out the flooring and change outdated fixtures and update appliances. Granted, I’m pretty sure my landlord would be really happy if I wanted to do that and pay for it, but what would I take from it when I’m ready to move on? A bunch of nothing! All my money and hard work would get me nowhere. Plus, I’m not thrilled with having neighbors directly on the other side of the wall (we live in a townhouse). I don’t want to be woken up at night by a crying baby until it’s MY baby! Yes, the baby shrieks at night. For hours. Not the soft, “I’m hungry” or “I’m scared and lonely” type of cries. I’m talking full-blown, temper tantrum, scream till she’s blue in the face type of cries. We can hear when they wash clothes, take a shower, flush a toilet, watch a movie…I’m more than ready to get away from that!

I decided today that I’d like to quit my job and babysit. Just like 7am-4pm, M-F type of thing while the mom is at work. If I could find someone who would pay me what I’m currently making, I totally would. Any takers? I just love kids, babies, toddlers. Whatever. I’d hang out with a kid for 8 hours over working in an office and having to take calls from mean sales reps any time! Hit me up if you’re interested!
Again…I’ll just keep dreaming, right?

So I finally got a crock pot like everyone told me I should. You know what? I love the thing! It’s amazing! I always hated that I couldn’t make REAL (by real, I mean good, nutritious, not from a box or freezer type) food during the week for dinner. I get home around 5:45pm and only 2 days out of the week actually have the night at home. The other three are full of meetings or church. But this crock pot thing…sure it means I may have to get up 20 minutes earlier in the morning to throw it all in there, but I just put a bunch of ingredients in the thing, push a button, and when I come home, dinner is done and the house smells amazing! Like the bbq chicken I made (err…I guess the crock pot made it if you want to get technical) – so good! Corey says he would’ve gotten me one sooner if he’d known I could actually cook with it. Haha. I’ve tried chicken, beef, soup…tomorrow I’m trying a new taco soup recipe I found. I don’t know if I like taco soup or not…never had it, so we’ll see! Anyone have any really great crock pot recipes to share?

This has been an extremely random blog, I know. My mind wanders when I’m bored. Thanks for bearing with me :)

Just venting some frustrations

This is getting old. We find a house we like, and it’s taken out from under us. The first time, I fell in love…I mean in LOVE with this house…on our way to see it, our realtor got a call that an offer had been accepted that morning. I was totally devastated. I had already starting picturing how I would arrange the furniture and what colors I would paint the walls and family gatherings taking place…I was seriously attached. That was a major bummer. Then, we were supposed to see another one. We had driven by and looked around the outside of and saw picturse online…this place was REALLY nice for the price…and the guy randomly decided to take it off the market. And then last night, we see one that was perfect. This place had everything we wanted in a house except for the downtown location, but it was still a good spot and something we were willing to compromise on because the house was so nice and such a good price. Our realtor was going to do a market analysis and check out the comps today so he could get back to us with a suggested starting offer. Well guess what? An offer came in last night and another one this morning. The lender (it’s a foreclosure) is already countering, so if it’s accepted, it will be sold. This one wasn’t even on the market a whole week! Same with the first house. People may think the housing market is bad right now, but it’s really not. As we’ve seen. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve asked our realtor about a house or wanted to go look at it only for him to email us back the day we’re supposed to see it and say there’s been an offer on it already. I’m going to say that’s happened at LEAST 5 times. I’m getting tired of this. I feel like we’re either going to have to go see any house that looks promising like THE day it’s listed and put in an offer ASAP without really having time to think and pray about it, or we’re going to have to settle for a really crappy house that needs a ton of work. We can’t seem to have it both ways…a nice house and time to think and pray about our decision. I felt like we needed to act quickly on this one for that reason, but thought if it was meant for us, the Lord would honor us wanting to pray about it and would keep it out there for us. He’s a big God. He can do that. But He didn’t. I feel like He doesn’t want us to have a house. I know I have to accept that if it’s the case because He knows best, but it’s just a frustrating internal struggle between knowing the Lord has my best interests in mind and sees the big picture and me wanting what I want and not caring about the bigger picture.

More on the house hunt

So...the house hunt continues. I haven't written anything since the last time. We never actually got to see that house. We were on our way there when our realtor got a call that it sold. :( I was pretty devastated...but I've learned my lesson. I can't get attached to anything. Not until it's actually ours. Because even if you make an offer and have it accepted, there's still always the potential that something big (like deal-breaking big) comes up in the inspection. So until the house is actually OURS, I'm going to do my best to keep my emotions out of this process. It's hard though. We did actually find another house that we really love, but it's listed for more than we wanted to pay (or can afford), and we'd have to put a lot of money into it before we could even move in (like $10,000 probably). The only reason we're considering it is because it's bank owned. The bank paid a price that would be MUCH more comfortable for us, but they think it's worth a lot more. That's the problem. The funny thing is that on the tax forms, the assessment of the property shows the land being worth more than the house! It's got a huge yard...it's a quarter acre. They think the house is worth $25,000 less than the land. Isn't that weird? I thought it was strange. We're going to take a second look at it on Saturday, and we're bringing my dad with us. We want some advice/opinions of someone that isn't really attached to it (I'm kind of attached, but not to the point that I'm going to be completely bummed if it doesn't work out). We'll see. The Lord could totally work it out if He wanted to. It's such a cool house. It's just that it would already be at the very top...maybe a little over what our said our price "ceiling" was...and we'd have to basically put a whole new kitchen in it. And completely re-landscape the yard (the grass and weeds are waste high). And repair (if it's possible) the back fence. And then finish the attic remodel that they started. Well, we wouldn't have to finish it right away, but we'd have to at least patch some things up and put a door up to the attic entrance. Somebody was in the middle of a remodel when they ran out of money and lost the house. So we'll see. It's totally what we want...it's in downtown Puyallup, 1775 sq. ft (which is bigger than we need right now, but gives us room to grow when we're ready to start a family), four bedrooms and two bathrooms, and has plenty of room for us to improve. More than plenty. Haha. It was built back in 1900, so it's this huge plantation-style house that's just awesome. It has so many cool original architectural details. But I'm NOT getting attached. Even though it sounds like I am. I'm trying to keep a logical, realistic perspective on it. :)



We did also see a house last night that's a short sale that could be promising. It's not downtown like we wanted, but it's only MAYBE a mile from where we live now. It's move-in ready, but has TONS of room for us to update and improve it. The only problem is that it needs a roof. Big expense... But it might be something to consider if this other place doesn't end up working out.



That's all I've got time for now! Lunch is over...Back to work! Here's a picture of that house downtown...

Come Lord Jesus, Come

Today has been a bummer day. I actually wrote this extremely long post originally, but decided to delete the majority of it and sum it up because I was rambling. I tend to ramble when I’m mad or passionate about something.

Why has it been a bummer day? Because I’ve just felt overwhelmed by all the junk, sin, evil, corruption, gossip, slander, etc. of the world. It’s sickening. Really, it is. We watched this video series at Veritas (the name of our 18 – 29 year old Bible study…aka the young adult/college age study) called The Truth Project. Awesome series. Twelve one-hour videos, but so worth it. They really make you think. Dr. Dell Tackett says some very profound and eye-opening things. There’s so much I’d like to write about it, but I would be here all day.

I just feel such a heaviness of heart for all the things going on right now – for my friend and others who are being (or have been) laid off and could lose their homes; for the new suicide law in Washington that takes effect on Thursday (that might be a whole different post); for the abortion issue that Obama is getting ready to address; for the gay marriage rights that Obama supports; for the people that trashed their houses before they were forced out of them due to foreclosure…as if ruining the place would make them feel better (we’ve seen a few like this); for the people who think money will make them happy; for the nation that denies its Christian and Biblical roots and foundation; for the teenage mom who had a baby and drowned it in the toilet because she didn’t want it (Give it to me! I’ll take care of it!); for my friends who want babies but can’t (or haven’t be able to so far) have them…and then the teens and women who have no business being pregnant are having all the abortions; because “how much does an abortion cost” is the number 2 search on Google; for my husband’s boss who is so selfish and wrapped up in his own world that he doesn’t see or even care how he hurts others…I’d even go to the extent of saying he enjoys making other people feel miserable; for our economy; for the fall of our nation. Why are all of these things happening? Because we have pushed God out of our lives, nation, government, homes, schools, work places, holidays, politics, etc. In the summarized words of Dr. Tackett: We have prostituted our hearts. We have given them over to everything else but God. And we sit here and wonder how we got ourselves into this predicament.

The suicide law about killed me (you can read about it here). That last bullet point is the one that really got my blood boiling… where the physician “Signs the patient's death certificate, listing the underlying terminal disease as the cause of death.” Really? Why not just say the true cause of death?? Why not say it for what it really is? The cause of death should say that the person took a lethal dose of the prescribed medication. That’s what killed them; not the disease. They never gave themselves the chance to find out if the disease would ever kill them at all. They just took matters into their own hands. A law that says it’s ok to lie is not ethical at all. And this law gives the physician the right to lie about the cause of death. Just right SUICIDE for pete’s sake! Call it what it is! Our nation has gone too far.

What is our world coming to? The worst part is that no matter how hard I try to stand up for my beliefs and what I know is right, this nation will deny it’s Biblical and Christian roots to the end. It’s become so about making everyone happy. Our nation and its leaders need to read up on their history before they go denying our roots. Because deny as they might, the truth is, this nation was formed with principals that were purposefully based on the Christian Bible. I almost feel helpless. We’re all so in over our heads that there seems to be no way out…no end to this miserable mess and corruption.

Lord Jesus, please, come back soon. I don’t know if I can take this much longer. It breaks my heart. If only they knew how much hope they could have in You.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you says the Lord, thoughts for peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you… Jeremiah 29:11-14

::In God’s Hands::

I just have to keep telling myself that the Lord would never give us anything we can’t handle. He promises that, and the Lord doesn’t lie. This economy is just scary. We’re looking at buying a house, yes, but we are also looking to buy something that won’t be any more than our rent payment for the very reason that anything could happen with our jobs. We’ve both been told that our jobs are secure. But things change. I just found out today that one of my good friends at work was given two weeks. Praise the Lord they didn’t tell her to pack up and leave today like they have some other people in the company, but she’s being laid off nonetheless. Of anyone here, I thought her job would have been one of the most secure jobs. She is the only person that does her job, and she’s insanely busy. It just doesn’t make any sense. It’s all about politics, and it was handled so poorly. She was training her replacement, and she didn’t even know it. I totally disagree with the way things happened. It kind of shook my world. It makes you wonder about yourself and your situation. What would I do if that was me? What would I do if that was Corey? It’s just hard not knowing what will happen. I know I need to just put it in the Lord’s hands and trust Him with everything. If we’re both going to lose our jobs and wouldn’t be able to afford a mortgage payment, then He’ll close the doors for us to buy a house. We could certainly force the door open if we really wanted to, but He would (and still could) give us an obvious sign that we’re not to buy a house. Our mistake is if we choose to ignore it. A couple of months ago I said that I felt like the Lord was preparing me for a big year…I just hope and pray that the “big” part doesn’t include losing our jobs.

On a lighter note, my sister is getting ready to have her baby here pretty soon! She’s only got 6 weeks to go! It’s insane how fast the time went. Probably not for her…she probably feels like it’s been an eternity. The poor thing has been sick the whole nine months. Now her blood sugar level is too high. As of two weeks ago, she had to cut sugar and carbs from her diet. I think I would die. Those are my two favorite food groups! I’m so excited to meet my niece. She’s going to be so precious. She’ll be gorgeous, I’m sure. I love babies. I decided that as much as I love the idea of having a baby right now, I’m not ready. I am not ready to be that tied down just yet. And we’re not financially ready. I decided this after my first “pregnancy scare” a couple weeks ago. Haha. Funny how when it could really happen, you change your mind!

Anyway, we’ll be seeing “the” house tomorrow. Please be in prayer for us if you happen to think of us tomorrow! And Corey is miserably sick with an upper respiratory infection, so please pray for him! Poor guy! He rarely gets sick, but when he does, he gets it bad. I wish you all a wonderful weekend!